On New Year's Day of 2019 I woke up in a casa particolare (B&B) of Centro Habana. I spent the day strolling through the Malecón to La Habana Vieja. The previous night was my first encounter with Cuban culture. New Year's Eve was spent dancing at many sounds of Cuban music, from traditional to hip hop and new Latin music.Spending NYE and New Year day in Habana had a special meaning for me; it represent a symbol of change in my life, which had been challenged for over five years by corruption and major financial losses. I embraced the new year thinking that 2019 would have brought major changes.
Unfortunately 2019 turned quite differently from the anticipation. After a year of useless negations, my book Form Geometry Structure is still out of print. A backstabbing after the divorce settlement brought me to civil court three times. I was humiliated and intimidated by a former judge. I had further major financial losses, but most of all, my artwork at Sun Farm, which had already been damaged, is facing destruction. 2020 started with loss and a sense of hopelessness. Making a new year resolution seemed meaningless considering how my life seems to be run by other people—the divorce parasites.
But finally yesterday—an unseasonably warm day—I had a sense of relief and hope. I went to one of my favourite places in NYC, the Hudson river waterfront. I performed my movement practice "Finding the Axis Mundi" in front of the setting sun. The sunset seems to embrace my prayer and made me feel calmer. I realized why I felt so overwhelmed and helpless: the lack of agency over my life, caused by the brutal divorce. Moving at sunset was cathartic. the immersive light brought serenity and clarity. In order to sort the horrific mess I need to act clarity and most of all, agency.
