The Evil of Banality: “Beata Solitude Sola Beatitudo” While Surviving Abuse

2021 marked the seventh year of my divorce litigation. Three years after the judgement of divorce was signed I am still dealing with its aftermath. My divorce was characterized by corruption, greed and injustice. It seems that I had to face all the “evil” of human nature. Abuse extended from the domestic walls to bullying by neighbors and even by peopled once I thought were friends. My world fell into the “rabbit hole” while I developed Legal Abuse Syndrome. Thanks to a healthy frugal lifestyle, a movement practice and creative endeavors, I have been able to live a productive life. I daily practice yoga and while living in New York City I was daily power walking, often over 15–20 kilometers a day. But any exposure to bullying and harassment triggers severe anxiety, nightmares, insomnia while reliving traumatic episodes.

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A clip from the daily recordings of my yoga practice, 19 March 2021

A Journal of Resistance During COVID-19 | Ce n’est qu’un début, continuons le combat

It has been another extremely challenging week. The majority of my time has been devoted to find an attorney to help me to rescue Sun Farm  from greed. Nothing yet. The rude neighbors from 5C continue with their noise disturbance and I filed more 311 complaints.
But my  daily dynamic meditation and spatial awareness continues to give me strength and focus.
I started "The Book of Spirals."

Ce n’est qu’un début, continuons le combat 

2020 New Year Resolution: Recovering Agency

On New Year's Day of 2019 I woke up in a casa particolare (B&B) of Centro Habana. I spent the day strolling through the Malecón to La Habana Vieja. The previous night was my first encounter with Cuban culture.  New Year's Eve was spent dancing at many sounds of Cuban music, from traditional to hip hop and new Latin music.Spending NYE and New Year day in Habana had a special meaning for me; it represent a symbol of change in my life, which had been challenged for over five years by corruption and major financial losses. I embraced the new year thinking that 2019 would have brought major changes.

Unfortunately 2019 turned quite differently from the anticipation. After a year of useless negations, my book Form Geometry Structure is still out of print. A backstabbing after the divorce settlement brought me to civil court three times. I was humiliated and intimidated by a former judge. I had further major financial losses, but most of all, my artwork at Sun Farm, which had already been damaged, is facing destruction. 2020 started with loss and a sense of hopelessness. Making a new year resolution seemed meaningless considering how my life seems to be run by other people—the divorce parasites.

But finally yesterday—an unseasonably warm day—I had a sense of relief and hope. I went to one of my favourite places in NYC, the Hudson river waterfront. I performed my movement practice "Finding the Axis Mundi" in front of the setting sun. The sunset seems to embrace my prayer and made me feel calmer. I realized why I felt so overwhelmed and helpless: the lack of agency over my life, caused by the brutal divorce. Moving at sunset was cathartic. the immersive light brought serenity and clarity. In order to sort the horrific mess I need to act clarity and most of all, agency.